


The Light of an Angel

by MagnaVictoria (Meaninglessness)



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels, Alternate Universe - Light Is Not Kira, And Attracts Bad Attention, Angel Wings, Attempt at Humor, Bottom Yagami Light, Good Light, Innocent Yagami Light, Light Angst, Light is Literally an Angel, M/M, Out of Character, Stalking, Top L, Yandere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-09-16 00:12:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9265256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meaninglessness/pseuds/MagnaVictoria
Summary: Had Heaven existed in their world, Light would've been an angel, perhaps. As it stands, he isn't too sure what he is. He has wings that glow and can sense corruption, but he wasn't an angel (at least he didn't think he was). He didn't even have a halo. Oh well, that suited him just fine; his life was perfect the way it was. Except for the part where he almost throws up because of some weird notebook, is subsequently accused of mass murder by the greatest detective in the world (who's also an irritating bastard), and then gains some creepy stalkers (that includes L, btw, because great detective or not it doesn't change the fact that he's creepy or the fact that he's pretty much stalking Light).Another weird plot bunny that I came up with randomly (two years ago)





	1. In Which Notebooks Are Evil and Light is an Angel, Literally (AKA the Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> This just literally sprang from "what if Light was an angel and couldn't stand the Death Note?"

When Light was born, he was told, it was a little fantastical. His father swore he was glowing and his mother said that all of a sudden she felt as if all her energy had come back once she held him in her arms. Five years old and already very intelligent Light would've called bullshit if he knew what that word meant. That sort of stuff only happened on TV, was what he exclaimed, plus he was their child so _of course_ they would say things like that. He could only pout (he was frowning, not pouting!) as his mother cooed at his response and hugged him tightly. Obviously, they were exaggerating... Light was certain of that...

Until he grew wings on his sixth birthday and promptly freaked out.

His parents were very protective of him and his sister and tried to only show them the good side of humanity, but Light knew better. He knew that there were people who committed crimes and hurt others. He also knew that not all of these people were bad. After all, Light thought, if he was very poor and had his little sister to look after, he would also steal. This didn't mean that they were right, of course, which was why even from a young age, Light wanted to become a detective like his father and help solve crime and bring justice. However, his advanced understanding also meant he knew that people also did things because they were afraid and didn't understand, which was why he could never, ever let anyone see his wings.

So, Light hid them from everyone, even his parents and his little sister.

But his wings were determined to be let out, to come out to the open so he could soar! So, by the time he was ten, Light was escaping from his house every week to go flying, and it was magnificent! Flying was so freeing and peaceful, almost addictive! The world shrunk and fell away beneath him when he flew and everyone and everything became tiny. The lights of the city were especially stunning from high up above. It was like a map of shining stars and far better, he would decide five years later on his first plane ride, than anything man could create to help them fly. From then on Light became a lover of high places, especially quiet, isolated ones where it was just him, the sky and the clouds. That wasn't to say he disliked human interaction, but sometimes it was really, really tiring.

Once he had raduated elementary and made a name for himself as a genius in middle school, Light was able to worm the key to the roof from his teachers and stay up there everyday! It was delightful!

Yet, as he grew closer to the sky other abilities of his also grew. The first time he was brought to the police station because his father wanted to introduce Light to being a detective, he nearly threw up because there was a crimminal there, chained up and not all that threatneing, but the sheer force of the man's _hate_ had Light trembling and trying his best to not hurl. Unfortunately, his father saw his reaction and from then on banned him from having anything to do with criminal justice. It was absolutely awful for Light, who thrived on challenges and mysteries. Yet not even Light's infamous puppy eyes swayed his father from his decision. (Light really didn't realize it was actually because the criminal that had been tied up had suddenly become very focused on Light, as if able to sense that he was an angel...)

So, Light decided to hack into the police database and solve crimes in his own time without telling his father. He saw it almost as some sort of game, but felt bad about not actually being able to do anything. Then Light realized he could help by saying things around his father that would help lead him to solve the crime he was assigned to. Light managed to master this is a way that no one realized what he was doing. Not soon after, he realized that he could tell when his father was lying. Light didn' like the lying, but he understood it was out of a desire to protect Light. Light didn't say anything though, since he was also, in a way, lying to his father.

It was around this time (aged 13) that Light wondered what, exactly, he was. He wasn't an angel, or at least, Light didn't think he was. He would have to be in heaven (dead) to be an angel. But then what on earth was he? In his spare time, Light delved into mythology in an attempt to figure out what on earth he was, yet years of research later the closest thing he could find was still an angel. Perhaps he was angel? Or maybe humans just got mythology wrong. Maybe only some parts were truth and the rest was bullshit (he knew what that word meant now, thank you very much). Light didn't give up his research though, and soon it became common to see him either staring into the sky or looking at books on mythology of all sorts. His teachers learned to leave him to it as he was polite, kind and smart, so they felt it was okay for him to more or less have free time during class. He knew everything anyways.

Then, one day in senior year when he was cloudgazing in class, he felt a very strong... well, he wasn't sure how to describe it. It was a feeling like an aura of malice or happiness around a human, but so much stronger. Light had never felt anything like it. He perked up as not long after, a small black thing fell onto the school grounds. Light was immediately curious and eagerly waited for the bell to ring. Once it did, he walked swiftly out of the classroom, bidding goodbye to his classmates.

The small black thing turned out to be a black notebook (or he assumed it was a notebook) with _Death Note_ written on the cover. Curious, Light edged closer and knelt next to it on the grass. He reached out to grab it from the ground. Yet, moments before he touched it, he felt its aura suddenly and distinctively and a shudder of revulsion at the sheer malice of the notebook ran up his spine. The feeling made his stomach turn and it wasn't long before Light was retching into a rubbish bin, using every ounce of self-control to keep his beautiful white wings hidden. He couldn't feel the malice from this far away, but just the memory of it made him gag.

Light weakly lifted his head away from the bin, wiped his mouth and glared at the small, not-so-innocent little notebook. It was strange how strong it felt, yet how neutral it was from a distance. Could something even be strongly neutral? Either way, that thing was a menace, absolutely evil when Light would hesitate to use such a definitive word for anything. Or perhaps... it wasn't evil on it's own but evil when used by human hands. Something told him that that was the case.

Steeling himself, Light took out a spare shirt (he kept one at all times in case he accidentally let his wings out and they ripped through his shirt) and approached the evil notebook with shirt in hand. He grimaced as he got close enough for the aura to affect him, but kept going until the malicious little thing was in his shirt-protected grasp. He quickly ran to the rubbish bin and threw the thing in. He tossed in a lit match and a vial of holy water (it actually worked when he blessed water, if you could believe it. He had done it once for shits and giggles and nearly choked when it started glowing and feeling pure. The effects were awesome; holy water was apparently a stress reliever and tasted delicious and refreshing to boot. He always gave his dad some after a stressful day at work) just to be safe. It was a little overkill, maybe, but the things was just so evil.

The presence of the book faded and, smirking, Light inwardly commended himself on a job well done, but grimaced at the shirt. He would have to purify it at home by washing it in holy water.

With that thought, Light banished the disgusting book from mind and stalked off with a triumphant spring to his step. It sort of felt like he had just won a battle against, say... a demon maybe.

Little did he know that the little black book would change his life in a few days.

(Two hours after Light's little excorcism, Ryuk came back only to cry at the state the book was in. It had been purified, partly burned and was covered in vomit. Gross...)


	2. In Which Deaths Happen and Light's Thoughts on Justice are Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title should be enough of a summary...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I GOT ACCEPTED INTO OXFORD AND AGSHFKDGSD OMG I WASN'T EXPECTING IT AND NOW I'M WRITING THIS CHAPTER WHEN I SHOULD BE WRITING THE ESSAY DUE TODAY BUT WHO CARES I'M TOO HAPPY RN! :DDDDDD
> 
> Okay, time to calm down... Btw, things get darker from here on out. Also, here Light has had struggles with supernatural abilities so he's less arrogant about his own abilities, and way less likely to develop a god complex. He fully understands that being stronger and having power can be extremely troublesome and tedious and sometimes wishes he were an average high school student. Also, because of his abilities, especially empathy, he's become sympathetic to criminals. He understands that so long as there's poverty and riches there'll always be crime, and that criminal activity is a cycle, not isolated events that happen simply because someone is a bad person. So yeah, this Light is in certain ways much wiser than canon Light, yet also more naive in other ways. Definitely doesn't see the world as black and white.
> 
> *This Light is a supporter of redemption and second chances. I had to find a reason beyond he doesn't like death though, as I doubt that Light would go with anything based on feelings alone. He's done his research and I've done mine! All that stuff about Norway? It's true. Scandinavia is a freaking fairy tale, I swear.

On the way home, Light deviated from his usual route and headed towards a cafe to purchase some calming peppermint tea. He had no idea why, but he felt like he needed it. Was he getting prophetic abilities?

Light shuddered a little. God, the last thing he needed were more supernatural abilities. As much as he enjoyed flying and realized that his abilities were useful in certain situations, they had also given him more trouble than they were worth at times. It wasn't, after all, fun to constantly battle with your wings that wanted to spring out. His obsession with flying (that definitely came from having wings) caused him to lose a good few hours of sleep every week. Not bracing himself for feelings of malice and ill intent made him sick (like with the notebook) and too many euphoric feelings made him high. The first time he had started sensing emotions he had gotten a migraine that had him sent to the infirmary and the first time he had spent a prolonged duration of time in a room full of happy people his father had panicked at his giggly, light behavior and driven him to the hospital in a police car, afraid that he had been drugged. Light certainly did not want a repeat of that.

Light could think of several ways prophetic abilities could become a bother, especially if they got stronger over time. He couldn't after all, pass off prophetic abilities as results of an advanced intellect (or maybe he could, if people were gullible enough, but that would make him lose what little faith he had in the masses) and having prophetic abilities also could result in a huge paradox of epic proportions that not even Light (or anyone else) could untangle. Self-fulfilling prophecies would cause him to worry constantly,

He shook his head and quickly thanked the barista before heading home at a leisurely pace, frowning slightly as he lost his thoughts to tea and supernatural powers.

"Light!" Light startled a little and almost dropped his tea as Sayu yelled at him from the front door of his house, a grin on her face. "You're later than usual today!"

"Hey, Sayu," Light greeted, smiling. He hadn't even realized he had gotten back home. "I bought some tea on the way back." He lifted his cup briefly in explanation.

"Weird, you usually come right back," Sayu commented, batting away Light's hand with a frown as he walked inside and patted her on the head.

He grinned down at her. "Were you waiting for me?"

"Yes! I was! I was _so_ worried when you didn't come back on time! I thought you had been kidnapped or something!" The sentence was said with _just_ a tad bit too much dramaticism for Light to believe her.

He eyed her contemplatively as she peered up at him with wide, worried eyes. "You want me to help you with homework don't you?" he deadpanned.

Sayu's face immediately broke into a sheepish grin. "Well..." she drawled, "I was only worried about you, that's all, but that is definitely a wonderful suggestion."

Light shook his head in exasperation and rolled his eyes as he took off his shoes. "Only worried about me? Does that mean you don't actually want me to help with your homework?" he asked, smirking as he straightened.

Her eyes widened, "No, no! I need your help Light! Pleeeeeaaaase!" Her puppy eyes were impressive for her age and, though Light wasn't really affected by them anymore, he sighed and gave in.

"Fine, fine, I'll help."

"Great!" And with that, Sayu scampered off to get her textbooks.

Light smiled as he trailed after her, greeting his mother on the way. His sister stormed down the stairs with an armful of books and a hopeful smile. Light raised an eyebrow and grinned a little. "Let's go up to my room."

Immediately, Sayu's jaw dropped. Light smiled benevolently and began walking up the stairs. "I-I ran up there and back down for _nothing_? Light! _Light_! Goddamnit, Light!"

"Sayu, language!" Light chuckled a little as their mother scolded his sister.

"Sorry, mum!" Sayu called as she ran up after him.

* * *

 

"Thanks, Light!"

Light rolled his eyes a little as Sayu ran back to her room, having understood after an hour of tutoring. He opened his own books this time and switched on the news, more on automatic than anything. He was having another of those feelings... The news was important, apparently. Light scowled a little, uncertain if he should go with it. He eventually decided to just and see what would happen.

The news was reporting a hostage situation about a man who was holding a some of preschool children and a teacher hostage, apparently. A killer holding a bunch of innocent children and their teacher hostage. Light clenched a fist and bit his lip, worried. He had a bad feeling about how this was going to end. If only he could do something to help. But he couldn't, he could only sit here and watch. For all f his supernatural ability, Light was helpless. Light watched the tv closely as the seconds ticked by. Then, suddenly..

"The hostages are coming out!" Light's eyes widened, but glad as he was for the safety of the children and teacher, he strangely did not feel relief. "Seems like everyone is fine.And now the police storm the school! Have they made the arrest?" Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. "Oh! They're coming back out! I don't see the suspect. What's going on?" A pause. "We just got word that the suspect has died! They're saying the suspect is dead!"*

Light startled a little. Dead? "Dead?" he whispered, disbelieving.

"... According to the hostages the suspect just collapsed!"

That sick feeling welled up in him again. This wasn't right. For some reason it just wasn't right. He was glad none of the hostages were hurt but the death of the suspect, Otoharada Kurou, unnerved him greatly. Light shook his head slightly to clear it, a frown on his face, as his mother called up to remind him he had to go to cram school.

All the way there, Light was plagued with a sense of unease. Something was beginning. He just didn't know what.

* * *

Over the next few days, Light looked out for unusual deaths on the news, and on his father's computer. They were easy enough to spot and all the deaths were that of criminals. The entity killing them was termed Kira by the masses and soon enough discussions of support and critique of Kira's actions were being broadcasted all over the news, the internet, everywhere. Even the people around him were talking about Kira. It was all incredibly strange and set off warning bells in Light's head like nothing else had. Everytime he saw news of Kira's killings, he would tense in an effort to keep his wings contained. They seemed to want to come out due to some sort of self-defense instinct.

Other than the escalating Kira killings, nothing of particular interest happened. Light browsed a few Kira websites out of boredom and was very much conflicted at what he read. It was an exemplary example of the road to hell was paved with good intentions. Light also now knew why Kira's killings felt so wrong to him. It was because they were wrong. They violated the natural laws of life and death, that's why they felt wrong. He felt like he should do something to stop it, but what could he, seventeen year old Light yagami, do?

Then L happened.

"I am L."

Honestly, Light wasn't sure what to think of L.

Though it may not seem like it, Light was very much a person who was all for second chances and redemption. He had analyzed it before, and he knew it was a characteristic that came from his abilities. Specifically his empathy. It made him rather pacifistic and he highly doubted he could harm anyone diliberately without feeling actualy, physical pain and imense guilt. To be perfectly honest, while he agreed that this was the trait of a good person, he hated it. It was very unpractical and made it hard for him to refuse any request. Sometimes he wished he was a little crueler. Not too much, but enough that he would actually be able to kill a cockroach without feeling like he had commited some sort of sin. Seriously. His empathy was way too annoying. It did, at least, make him more aware of the people around him and able to detect lies, but still. Light would like to be able to be human in his respect, at least.

That L sacrificed the life of a criminal to test a hypothesis so he could catch a bigger criminal was very utilitarian. The dead criminal had been scheduled for execution, too. However, it still made Light slightly disturbed and slightly admiring at the same time. Light didn't support the Death Row. Not just because of his compassion, but statistics show that Norway, which gives up to only 21 years maximun of jail time, had one of the lowest crime rates and rearrestion rates. Their entire culture was built on forgiveness and redemption, so they refused to allow criminal activity to ruin a person's life. They very much believed in the idea of stopping violence starting from oneself. The justice system was designed to reform, not to punish. The only punishment given was the lack of freedom. Inmates in Norwegien prisons had better 'dorms' than many American universities. They live in their own communities. They have libraries and classes. They work together to provide food and entertainment, allowed to wield knives to cook and tennis rackets to play. They're given game consoles in maximun security prisons, for godness sakes. The prisons are of amazing quality and the prisoners that finish their sentences go on to become anything from athletes to lawyers.

And that was why Light believed in redemption. He had done his research, thank you very much, and when the justice system itself perpetuates violence and death, nothing good can come out of it. Studies were done in the US showing that states that instated the Death Row had an increase in criminal activity rather than a decrease. Light didn't support capital punishment. He didn't support Kira. And L, well, he wasn't sure about the greatest detective, but something told him that he wouldn't like L's methods either. *

Light had, actually, complained a lot about the justice system to his father in his younger years. Even before gaining his empathy, he felt slight unease at the mere mention of the death row. Now he knew it was because being what he was (whatever he was), he much, much prefered natural deaths to murder or any sort of death caused by man. He had always had a strange fascination with nature documentaries. Even the gory killings didn't bother him very much. He felt oddly serene watching prey and predator. It felt right. It was simply the natural order and even if he didn't like the deaths, it calmed him to see something so natural. He didn't like it, but it didn't make him feel uneasy either.

Light had tried using Norway to argue his case against the death row before to his father. His father had replied that it was not a simple matter of law, but also of culture. Norway could afford to and did build their education and culture around forgiveness. Other countries may not have the ability. It wasn't simply law, it was the very basis of their culture. That's why they could do what they did.

L was very smart, Light would admit to that, and he had already narrowed now Kira's location. Light knew that Kira was probably in Japan, as he doubted the Shinjuku killer live broadcast had been broadcasted in any other country. But L also had the resources to confirm his hypotheses, that were not made with any sort of magical angelic intuition thing (that Light had appeared to have developed). Light felt, well, lighter. L would be able to catch Kira and stop the deaths that were violating the natural order.

Of that, Light was sure.


	3. In Which More Deaths Happen and Light is Stalked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! It was Chinese New Year and I was visiting relatives! (And I also got super distracted by my new new 3DS with Pokemon Moon, Pokemon Duel, Fire Emblem Heroes, Clash Royale, and bloody Yuri!!! On Ice XD)
> 
> OCs are introduced as Light's friends because, you know, this Light actually likes people and has friends?

He had a stalker.

He had a _stalker_.

After the broadcast, had Light found himself falling back into the familiar monotony of life... sort of. Deaths by Kira were still popping up all over the news and Light was getting worried as his dad seemed to become more overworked than usual. He occaisionally wondered what L was doing when people mentioned him (which was often), but mostly he focused on schoolwork and playing a bit of devil's advocate (a little ironic, considering his abilities) to his classmates, questioning their support, which was far more outspoken and common than any form of protest (probably because of fear). Most people played the role of silent supporters. Not aggressively supporting Kira's actions, but definitely not against Kira. He asked them questions such as "what if poverty drove these crimminals to do as they did?" in his usual mild manner, but never specified a stance of his own. He had realized in a few days that Kira seemed to be abnormally active when he had free time, mostly because he was, in fact, keeping track of some more notable murders (definitely not all of them), and about eighty to ninety percent were comitting during his free hours, with fluctuations during holidays. Even with the limited information he had (especially since some Kira-related deaths weren't reported by the media), he could tell that Kira was most likely a teacher or a student (or pretending to be one). Otherwise it was still the same old. But did he mention that he had a stalker? He kind of regretted thinking of life as monotonous.

Let him repeat that once more: he had a _stalker_... _has_ a stalker, whatever.

Light had never had a stalker before (at least he doesn't think he had ever had one...).

His stalker was pretty inconspicuous, and if Light didn't have angelic abilities he wouldn't even have noticed. It started a couple of days ago, where he got this itch between his hidden wings that told him he was being intently observed. It made him slightly uneasy, but he made sure to not show any outward signs of noticing. It would probably fade in a while...

Except that it didn't. It followed him constantly, but the emotions coming from the observing presence didn't match what he thought a stalker would feel like. It was wariness, curiosity and determination. Like... Like a man on a mission.

 _Please don't tell me I'm being observed by the CIA or something_ , Light thought with barely repressed nervous laughter as he continued walking home (he never would've guessed that he was almost on point). Impossible, what could Light have done to deserve such attention? _But then again, I can't sense any sort of malice or obsessive focus from whoever is watching me..._

He frowned a little, concertrating on forcing his wings to stay hidden when they fluttered against his skin. He wasn't too sure how to feel about having a stalker. On one hand, he definitely wasn't afraid. He was unnerved, yes, but not afraid. In fact it was a little flattering that someone was stallking him. Which was weird, because he was actually flattered by being stalked. Urg, this angel thing was messing him up. Yes, definitely, otherwise why else would he like being stalked. It had to be some weird and archaic mating insticts or something that came with the wings and powers, yes, that's got to be it! But there was no way he was going to succumb to it! He was a civilized being! He twitched a little at the absurdity of his own thoughts. He was pretty sure his own instincts found his thoughts weird.

Finally reaching home (his first attempt to throw his stalker off so they wouldn't find his home was a spectacular failure and he didn't want them to get suspicious. Plus, they didn't seem too dangerous except the whole, you know, stalking part), Light called out a greeting to his parents.

He sighed in relief as he closed the door and the itch between his wings faded. They twitched against his shirt and he knew he wouldn't be able to confine them for long after being stalked for the past few days. He quickly ascended the stairs and locked himself in his room, closing the curtains tight. Throwing off his shirt, he let his shimmering white wings appear behind him and stretched them out. His wingspan was larger than the room was wide, so he couldn't stretch them out fully, but the feeling of freedom was enough for him. With a satisfied hum, he sat down to start on his homework.

* * *

 

Okay, this was ridiculous (and kind of worrying). How much longer was he going to be stalked for?

Light had doubled his midnight flights during the time he had been stalked since his wings became really uncomfortable at the confinement and constant staring. He had become distracted and twitchy and hadn't even realized when he had agreed to go to an amusement park with a bunch of his classmates. That was the reason why he was currently at the bus stop, waiting for the bus and fidgeting under the feel of the gaze of the stalker.

The stalker's emotions had changed, just slightly over the course of the past few days. There was far less intensity than there was before and for a small period of time there was so much boredom that Light swore the stalker was going to give up. But the stalker didn't, for some reason.

Light heaved a sigh.

"Yagami-kun?" Light blinked as one of his classmates, Fujiwara Mikoto, looked at him worriedly. "Are you alright? You've seemed distracted and uncomfortable for the past few days," she told him, much to Light's surprise. Was he that obvious? "I mean, we were hoping that this trip might cheer you up but you don't have to come if you don't want to." She glanced at the others who had come out with them and Light felt his heart warm and his body relax at the aura of their gentle concern. He smiled genuinely for the first time in a while and nodded at them

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry."

Minowa Takeru watched him for a moment before grinning. "Come on, the bus is here. Let's relax and enjoy ourselves, yeah?" he told the group at large, who all began smiling and piling onto the bus. Takeru gave a whoop as he climbed on, making Light shake his head a little at the other teen's antics. Yukimura Takehiro followed with a yawn and a quiet 'aye, aye'.

The moment he stepped onto the bus, his wings gave a twitch of discomfort and a shiver went up his spine. He froze at the foreboding that crawled up his spine, clamping down on the urge to stretch his wings. Something was going to happen. Ihara Rei, who was behind him, raised an eyebrow at his sudden hesitation.

"Something wrong, Yagami-kun?" she drawled, voice mostly monotone, but with the undercurrent of irritation. She was a little strange, but had been pulled onto this trip, half-reluctant.

"... No, nothing." Light swallowed thickly and got onto the bus. If something bad was going to happen, he should be there to try his best to prevent it from hurting anyone. He could practically feel Ihara's eyes narrowing at his behavior. The girl was smart and perceptive, if lazy.

Before she could comment, her friend (of a sort), Shirohane Junko, glomped her, chattering excitedly and pulling her onto the bus, much to her further irritation.

They took their places on the bus without much care, Light sitting next to Rei at the back of their formation. Rei gave an audible sigh of relief as Junko pouted and sat next to Mikoto instead. Takehiro grinned back at them, waggling his eyebrows, to which Rei simply flipped him the bird, causing Takeru to start laughing. Light sighed a little in exasperation, momentarily forgetting his dread.

An older foreigner sat behind them on the bus and Light stiffened, recognizing the aura. It was his stalker.

His stalker wasn't, in fact, the one who was the source of the foreboding feeling and Light relaxed minutely as he realized this. But, two stops in, a teenager with an aura that made his stomach twist boarded the bus and Light leaned subtly away from him. The aura felt familiar for a reason he couldn't place, but it made him feel extremely uncomfortable and his wings twitched under his skin. He glanced at the teenager, biting his lip and wondering what set him off, only to jump and quickly avert his gaze when he realized he was being stared at.

A trickle of sweat ran down his neck and he supressed a shudder. It wasn't the teenager's emotions that set him off, since they only consisted of faint tiredness and curiosity.

"What's this we have here...?" Light startled, badly, as a raspy voice sounded in his ear. His wings fluttered against his shirt and he quickly retracted them. Rei gave him a strange look. "Hm... What are you? You're no human. You have wings, yet you're no Shinigami either..." Light could feel himself tensing up as he tried to ignore the breath on his ear and the looming shadow of some otherworldly being behind him. It was obvious that no one else could see the creature, but Light could _feel_ its presence. An aura of death and boredom and curiosity lingered behind him, overwhelming his senses. "What beautiful wings... hyukhyukhyuk... I've never seen such wholesome ones on anything but a bird before. Hey, don't ignore me..." Light could hear the pout in the voice and he only just managed to repress a hysterical laugh. "Fine, be that way..."

Light only relaxed when the presence moved to the other side of the bus. Disturbingly enough right next to the creepy staring teen with the gross aura.

"I'm hijacking this bus!"

Light startled, feathers ruffled, as a man started yelling at the front, waving a gun around. Junko and Mikato screamed, but were quickly hushed by some shouted threats. Light practically bristled at that, wanting desparately to prevent this man from scaring his classmates, yet knowing that he was incapable of action. He had superhuman abilities, yet none of them could help him here. Why weren't his powers something more useful for god's sake? He cursed them internally as he gritted his teeth, watching the man threaten the driver with a growing sense of helplessness.

This must have been where the foreboding was coming from. His abilities were giving him a warning all along. He could've prevented this. God. He could have done more... All he could do now was sit here and feel the creeping greed of the criminal slide over his skin like a sheet of silk. He shuddered slightly. But... There was something wrong with how the criminal felt. Under his emotions there was a strange discord in the criminal's aura. He had never felt anything like it! Light bit his lip, concerntrating. It felt like... Like the man had been displaced. He wasn't meant to be here. It was wrong. His presence and existence were meant to be elsewhere. Not here. Never here. The entire situation just felt wrong.

It was sickening.

Like... Like that teenager's aura was sickening.

Before he knew what had happened, he was doubling over onto the floor and trying his best not to throw up. A pair of hands settled on his shoulders, and he weakly flinched at the slimy sense of wrongness that left stains on his clothing. It almost made him retch. A different pair of hands attempted to sooth him, patting his back. Concern radiated from both, but the second pair of hands were far more successful in getting him to calm.

"Hey, what's going on here? Eh? Do you want to be killed?" Light groaned weakly as the loud voice assurged his ears, blinking tears from his blurry eyesight.

"My friend is sick, he can't help it." That was Rei's voice, and it trembled, but the hint of steel told him that Rei wasn't truly as afraid as she was angry.

"Please sir, we are only trying to help him." This voice he did not recognize, but it must have belonged to the pair of hands that felt concerned yet left sickness in its wake.

"What's that piece of paper?" There was a rustling, and then...

"What's happening!?"

There were choking noises and then footsteps. Light shivered and whimpered as the discord in the criminal's aura suddenly overwhelmned all else, collapsing onto his front. He was using all his self-control to reign in his wings which twitched violently as he curled into a ball.

"My, my..." the thing from before spoke, it's voice still raspy but tinged with surprise. "He can _feel_ him die! You can, can't you? Hyuk hyuk hyuk!"

There was a thud and the criminal's aura drained away, leaving just the slightest lingering of pain and fear in the air. The discord dissapated, making it easier to breathe without retching, but the sickening wrongness still lingered. There was a moment of silence and the bus stopped.

"Yagami-kun, are you okay?"

"Oh my god, hang in there."

"Can you sit up?"

With the help of his friends, Light weakly sat and accepted some water given to him by Takeru, nodding reassurances that he was fine. Rei was still rubbing his back and everyone looked pale and concerned. They clearly had had a fright from what had just happened. Takehiro and Junko couldn't stop glancing back at the unmoving criminal. "He... Is he dead?" Junko asked in a small voice.

Takehiro shuddered. "I don't know, but is it a bad thing if I hope he is...?"

Rei suddenly stood, nearly making Light drop his water. "I'll check." Light tensed, watching the teenaged girl stalk over to the body and stoically press two fingers against the criminal's jugular. Light's stalker had looked as if he wanted to object to the girl's actions, but was too late to do so. "He's dead," Rei announced solemnly, walking back to their group.

"Do you know what this means?" Mikoto suddenly hissed. "Kira killed him. Kira _saved_ us."

Light paled even further at the announcement as everyone glanced at each other, taking in the new information.

He never even noticed the growing smug satisfaction under the aura of wrongness of the teen that had stared at him and helped him.

Then came the wailing sirens of police cars, drowning out his thoughts.


	4. In Which Light Discusses Paradoxes and His House Gets Bugged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the philisophical bantering at the beginning. It feels good tho, to write something like that. The first half is unimportant to the plot, feel free to skip that dialogue at the beginning. There's a also hints of Light/OC (Rei), but it's just Light's friends being friends and the OCs mostly disappear after this chapter.
> 
> Rei will become a reoccurring character and will act as a foil to Light, as her opinions sort of resemble that of canon!Light. This Light has considerably more idealistic views on the world, as previously stated, but he isn't exactly like Yotsuba!Light since he's been kept apart from the harsh reality of criminal activity thanks to a combination of his father's protectiveness and his being distracted by his powers. I'm definitely going to continue using Rei as a foil, though she might not end up playing a major role. Another of Rei's biggest roles, is to continuously bring up these paradoxical, hypothetical, philosophical ideas, since L does that less than I would like.
> 
> And yes, Raye survived, so did Naomi. No one knows Kira can kill with other methods.
> 
> Rei might take a place as a "Light's potential girlfriend" sort of character (nothing will actually happen between the two, she only takes the role to make L jealous lol), but I'm debating on sending her away and just keeping her out of it. With the plot I have, I have a hard time fitting Misa into the two different roles I want her to play without Rei there. However, I'm not sure if letting Rei take a major-ish role (as big as Misa's at least) is a good idea or not...
> 
> I'll let you guys vote for this: do you or do you not want Rei to have a more major role? And what about the other OCs? Should they continue to appear? I have a very interesting plot figured out if you want Rei to play a major role. If you don't... well... I can work with that, too. 
> 
> I was puzzling out the perfection thing today, by the way (I don't know why, I just was). But of course, most paradoxes originate from language and definitions of words. If we did not have language, we would not have these paradoxes. Like the heap of sand paradox - if I had a heap of sand and took one grain from the heap, it's still a heap, so heap minus one grain is a heap right? But if I keep taking a grain of sand from the heap, eventually the heap would disappear. Yet at what point does the heap cease to be a heap if a heap minus one grain is always a heap? It's because of the way heap is defined that we have this paradox. Same with words like big and small. They depend on our perspective and help us categorize reality, but they are mere metonyms for reality (all words are metonyms for reality). The paradox only exists because we define heap in a specific way to represent a general subjective concept of reality. If, for example, we defined heap very specifically like more than 100 grains of sand is a heap, the paradox wouldn't exist, but that would never happen since it defeats the purpose of the word heap.

"You would sacrifice the well being of a population for the good of an individual?"

"You would destroy the life of an individual on the off-chance that they may become a problem? At the risk of them growing hateful enough to try?"

"... Touche. Nonetheless, such is an emotional decision that isn't, in fact, a wise one. One death is a horror, a million deaths is a statistic. That's why most people, especially those in individualistic cultures, feel less when faced with the loss of many than the loss of one. Example, a charity raised for a single person who has gone through trials but is nonethless in a relatively enriched enviroment such as America will recieve more attention than a charity raising money for the starving population of various countries of Africa. Is that not terrible? Should we not turn our sympathy towards the group rather than the individual?"

"Such a comparison can't truly be made. Those who have money to donate most likely come from enriched enviroments. They would sympathize more with the individual not only due to the fact that they are individual, but also because they are part of their in-group - that is they share similarities that can categorize them as existing within the same group. This could be simply having more sympathy. Of course, I won't deny the fact that it is, indeed, terrible. However, to forget the importance of the individual risks detatchment from the situation and could lead to a ruthless, machiavellian style of decision-making."

"Yes, but that is also highly impractical and inefficient. We do not have the resources and time to focus attention onto helping each and every individual, and if we did choose to focus on some, how would we choose who to focus upon. Who to help? The obvious answer is whoever needs it most, but it doesn't work that way because these people in need of help are naught but a statistic to those who can help. Humans are by nature selfish; that is how natural selection works. To not be selfish is to not have the ability to survive. Individualistic cultures will nonetheless promote focus on the individual and neglect the overall group. This is a selfish thinking that eventually leads to catastrophy."

"I agree with that, but the problem with not focusing on the individual is power."

"Power?"

"Yes, power, abuse of power, misuse of power."

"The machiavellian thing?"

"Not just that, but if the good of the group is so important, then no one truly has the right to make decisions for the group because no individual is better than the other. And who's to say if one person's decisions are truly the best for everyone?"

"Then leadership should go to whoever is most suited to leadership. That's an efficient division of labor. A meritocracy, so to speak, for the person who can make the best choices."

"Ah, but that's an individualistic idea, isn't it? And on what standards would we be able to deduce who is most suited for leadership anyways?"

"Drat... You're right. I think this proves a point doesn't it?"

"Hm?"

"Extremes are no good. There must be a balance, a place where ideas converge. You need to be progressive to make progress, but you need to be conservative to ensure a smooth transition of the way of life. To be too progressive will lead to chaos and and absurdity, as people think any new idea is a good idea. To be too conservative will lead to stagnation and arrogance, as people will start to reject the new and take too much pride in what already is. Arguing for any one extreme eventually becomes too hard since that one extreme _needs_ to be tempered by ideas from the other side."

"True, that's very true. But it is also an impossible to achieve ideal. After all, how do you measure any of these intangible concepts. At what point does progressive action become too progressive? At what point does order become slavery? At what point does freedom become anarchy? Where is that line that separates too much and too little?"

"Which is why nothing is perfect and continuous adjustment is necessary. To paraphrase Jean-Paul Satre, a society is only perfect when it is in constant revolution."

"That's rather extreme though."

"Yes, but the basic idea is correct. We can never be perfect, we can only get closer and closer by changing and improving ourselves, making sure to slow down when we're going too fast and to speed up when we start to stagnate."

"Like a limit in mathematics, we have to try and approach that perfect balance though we will realistically never reach it."

"Very cynical, but, precisely."

"Yet... What about being too balanced? That's an extreme as well."

"Well, that's where the paradox lies, isn't it? Anything can be considered too much of itself. Even perfection leads itself to being incapable of improvement, which is a flaw in itself. So something perfect isn't, truly, perfect."

"But since the only improvement it has to make is to be able to make an improvement, it can still improve, meaning it is not incapable of improvement, but if it can still improve then it's not perfect. Yet once it improves to be able to improve, it has no more improvements to be able to make since it's already perfect, meaning it can be improved by being able to improve, yes? So therefore perfection is not perfect because it's very existence is a paradox."

"If that's how you want to define perfection, then yes."

Everyone had been shaken up badly by the bus hijacking incident, but none more so than Light. He was unable to stop thinking about feeling that criminal's death, disgust and discord and wrongness enveloping him in an intimate embrace, even in his sleep. His nightmares got progressively worse until it was obvious to everyone that something was wrong. His friends had tried to help, but they weren't sure how and they didn't want to go to Space Land again, considering what happened last time. Eventually, Mikoto had elbowed Junko, who had prodded Rei, who had cursed loudly and violently, causing Takeru to faint and Takehiro to do a spit take. She had originally been banned from trying to help because of what had happened when she tried last time, but now she was their last resort.

(By last time, they meant when Rei randomly sat next to Light during lunch and asked, "Hey, _how do you make holy water_?" in English. Light more or less had a panic attack right then and there, only to realize it was pun as Rei started yelling "For god's sake, the answer is _you boil the hell out of it_! Why are you freaking out!?" From then on, Rei was not allowed to try and comfort anyone. Or make puns.)

Either way, their gamble had paid off. They were going over to Light's house to study (or to help Takeru and Junko study) when Rei walked up beside Light. She did not start with a punny joke this time. Instead, she asked, "Hey, Yagami-kun, what do you think of the phrase: _for the greater good_?" That had subsequently become a tennis ball match of a debate, that confused the rest of their friends and managed to get Light's mind off of the bus incident. He basked in the curiosity and confusion and kept his mind on the intellectually stimulating conversation, feeling himself relax. It was surprisingly fun. Rei was exceptionally smart, despite her delinquent-like attitude and just above-average scores. It was a wonder how Junko and Mikoto, who were two of the most popular girls in the school, had become friends with the abrasive Rei.

"Those two are so suited for each other," Junko whispered, rather loudly, too, as Rei turned to glare at her.

Mikoto smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Hey... Let's talk about something else...?" Takeru hesitantly cut in, taking advantage of the lull in their debate.

"Oi, Yagami, what university are you planning on applying to?" Takehiro asked at once.

Junko gave him a deadpan look. "Seriously? You could've chosen any topic - _any topic_ \- and you choose this one?"

"Well, I mean, we're all curious right? Light's super smart and all."

"Yeah, smart," Rei snorted and rolled her eyes, "That's one hell of an understatement. A genius is more like it."

"Well, I'd say you could give Yagami-kun a run for his money," Junko teased.

Rei shook her head. "No, I couldn't. In experience, maybe, in sheer intellect, no."

"Aw... Don't be so modest, Rei-chan!" Junko hugged her friend tightly, causing Rei to yelp.

"Get the fuck off!"

"So, uh, Yagami, what university are you aiming for? You're ranked first nationally, right?" Takeru asked, ignoring how everyone turned to them at the commotion Rei and Junko were making.

"To-Oh U," Light replied, smiling as he watched Rei struggle to get Junko off, eventually managing to yank the energetic girl away from her neck, panting for breath.

"Wow!" Takehiro exclaimed with a serene smile. "And here I am thinking I might not even get into uni!"

"Says the guy who's 3rd in the year!" Takeru huffed, disgruntled. Takehiro chuckled good-naturedly. "I'm so far below you, you aren't even a dot in the sky anymore..."

"I'm just only average in our school," Junko added in cheerfully, "And Mikoto placed in the top 10."

Takehiro turned to Rei. "What about you Ihara-chan?"

"No clue."

"What?!" Takeru gasped, aghast, as they got to Light's house, waiting as Light unlocked the door.

"Rei-chan is exactly 21st," Junko informed him cheerfully. "So what do you all plan on studying in uni?"

Then he felt it. That feeling like cold fingers running up his spine that meant someone was watching him. Light shuddered, glancing behind him as he ushered the others inside. Most disturbingly, the feeling increased in intensity when he shut the door and lead the way into the living room.

"What about you, Yagami-kun?"

Light startled at the question posed by Mikoto. "Ah... Criminal Justice and Law."

"Right, you want to work as a detective, don't you?" Takehiro hesitated after posing the rhetorical question, "Speaking of justice..."

"Is this gonna go into another Kira debate?" Rei sounded slightly annoyed. Prior to the bus incident, they had been discussing Kira a lot. Rei seemed to be grateful for the reprieve from the Kira discussion, though their opinions on Kira had actually been what had brought them all together in the first place. Light was also enjoying the lack of Kira talks to be honest, Takehiro responded with a sheepish nod.

"Statistics say that the rate of crime has been decreasing," Mikoto began, "Despite a slump in the economy. And so far, Kira has mostly killed those who are definitely guilty of henious crimes. Especially those the law has had trouble bringing to justice."

"He did save us. Indirectly, that is," Takeru added, "But after... after witnessing that sort of power first hand, well, it's quite terrifying isn't it. It isn't a power I would believe any human being to have. It's almost supernatural. In some ways, I want to believe that this is the work of some vengeful god. If it were a fellow human being... Well..."

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely," Takehiro finished the sentence for Takeru. "It's true that Kira can definitely work around certain things the police cannot. Kira can't be bribed; he can't be swayed; he can easily take care of hostage situations in a way the police cannot."

"I just worry about if someone is innocent and Kira condemns them. I remember you talking about the Trial By Fire article you read, Yagami-kun," Junko was uncharacteristically subdued as she nodded towards Light, "Kira is equivalent to a death sentence, except that you can't appeal to him. His decision is absolute. Even with appeals and the such, the law subjects many innocents to death every year."

"Yet there are equally as many who go free though they should not. The justice system is flawed as it does both," Takehiro argued. "It depends on if you're willing to sacrifice these innocents to make sure you spamt out crime. However, a study done in America have shown that getting rid of the Death Row actually decreased crime rates in various states while instating capital punishment increased crime rates. Which is kinda strange."

"I remember you telling us about the state of affairs in Norway once, Yagami-kun," Mikoto brought up, "I think that America and Japan may have different responses due to cultural differences, just like how Norway's culture supports their justice system."

"And, of course, if there's just this one asshole who goes around like a crazy fucktard killing people or something Norway is pretty screwed," Rei added dryly. Light resisted the urge to face palm at the way Rei phrased the sentence. "Either way, let's steer this back to Kira, yeah?"

"Well, I do want to bring this up as a allusion to our greater good debate," Light finally spoke, feeling calmed enough by their debate to do so, "Does anyone truly have the right to have such power over human lives? Be it Kira or the law?"

"Have any of you heard about the Problem of Evil paradox?" That was Rei, of course it was Rei. It was always Rei who brought up these confusing and philosophical concepts.

"Oh, I know this one!" Everyone looked at Junko in surprise as she perked up, "Rei-chan told me about it when Kira first appeared. It goes like... If God is willing but not able to stop evil, He's not omnipotent. If He's able but not willing... He's, uh, not good or evil or something. If God is both able and willing..."

"Then where does evil come from?" Light deduced, finishing the sentence as Junko trailed off. "And if God is neither willing nor able... then He's not God*?" Light looked to Rei for confirmation.

"Yeah, pretty much. I mean, the paradox can easily be answered by merely saying God is an existence beyond our comprehension. He's too vast for any concept of God we envision to truly describe and embody what God is, or with an argument of free-will. I personally don't believe in the best possible world argument, as that implies that God is not omnipotent. Either way, I think the paradox suits the current topic."

"Are you saying Kira is God? Or like God?" Takehiro frowned at the comparison, seemingly disturbed.

"I'm saying that Kira fancies him or herself a god. After all, this must look like Divine Providence to those who believe. This power Kira has, it's beyond what man can do. And what is God, if not powerful? If we were to believe that God is source of all explainable and unexplainable happenings in the world, then God kills all the time. So much so, one might even start to believe killing feels good to Him*. It would be easy for one who gained such a power to rationalize themselves in the way Kira does. Such reasoning isn't uncommon among psychopaths and serial killers: people feel powerful when they kill. People feel like God when they kill. It's called a God complex."

Light found himself incredibly disturbed by Rei's words. Though she spoke softly, in mostly a monotone voice, there was a certainty to her words that Light couldn't shake. Not for the first time, he thought about his own abilities in comparison to Kira. Light, too, was gifted with a superhuman abilty (if Kira even was a human gifted with the power to kill). He found them occaisionally useful, occaisionally annoying, but what if his ability was like Kira's? What would become of him then? It was a terrifying thought.

Light shook himself out of the thought and cleared his throat, suddenly realizing he had yet to provide his guests with drinks and he wasn't really being a dutiful host.

"Do any of you want something to drink?"

* * *

"So?" Soichiro looked at the younger man crouching next to him.

"He seems to be strangely aware that he's being watched..." L murmured, taking a bite of cheesecake, "That conversation... I think I will have to continue monitoring him for a while."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Epicurus's version of the Problem of Evil  
> *Paraphrased from Hannibal, the TV show
> 
> I got this updated so quickly lmao


	5. In Which Light Dreams and Kira Strikes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo sorry for the delay. Between Grad Trips and other Uni stuff, and just my general slump in writing and inspiration, I haven't been updating lol.
> 
> Anyways, major canon divergence here. Also, what has been happening so far with the police and L: since the FBI agents didn't die, there was no mass desertion. So L had Watari pull Soichiro aside so he could conduct surveillance on Light because of the weird af bus incident. He kept the rest of the task force out of this though. L is getting help from the FBI and had recently began integrating the FBI agents who were working on the case into the N.P.A. Kira task force.

The next few months passed in a haze. It was completely expected when Light got into To-Oh. It was far, far less expected when Rei scraped by and got in, too, though she was closer to the lower boundary, unlike Light who had scored exceptionally. He was surprised, if only because he had no idea Rei was even considering To-Oh - he had legitimately thought she was at the To-Oh exams because she was bored and not for much else. Junko cheered, saying that she knew all along how smart Rei was and, considering how Light saw Rei nod off and start sleeping halfway through the second entrance exam, Light had to agree that Rei was much smarter than most gave her credit for. He also saw a very strange guy who stared at him a lot during the exam, if the weird feeling he had between his wings was any indication. Unfortunately, such occurrances weren't uncommon.

Light could only be glad that he was no longer waking up with the impression of fire and blood behind his eyelids, but completely unable to remember anything except the intense feeling that some sort of monstrous chasm was opening up beneath him. Around the time he stopped feeling that cold, creeping feeling between his wings at home, the nightmares changed into vivid and increasingly bizarre dreams with the same setting. He would fall asleep and open his eyes to the inside of a underground city with low-stooped buildings and a glimmering ceiling. The few cracks above would rain down sunlight and a metal spire in the distance - the tallest building he had seen yet - split open the false sky like a bad omen. Sometimes he would fly and other times he would simply walk around. Occaisionally, he was all alone, but more often than not he would see other people doing strange things, such as throwing bandages into the air or rolling candles across a rooftop. Then, as the day turned to night, the gashes of light became voids and the roof turned into a night sky unlike anything he had seen before, he would awaken with a spotty vision - as if he had been looking at a cluster of stars for too long.

Light didn't know what it meant, but he didn't think it was too bad. Some days they were so vivid that he would simply stare up at his own bedroom ceiling in confusion for several seconds before realizing it was all a dream. However, he did not once wake with dread and weightlessness. Instead, a strange tension was present in him that made him energetic, but also a bit jittery in the morning. Something was coming and... it wasn't bad. He felt anticipatory, not fearful and his throat did not clog with agitated tension. Yet the nightmares he had previously had kept a firm grasp on him, as did the bus incident. He had started back into his mythology research for demonic or malicious invisible beings with wings - if the voice that spoke to him on the bus wasn't just some hallucination - as well as creatures who could possess others and weren't meant to exist.

The Kira killings continued, lingering in his consciousness like a presence in the doorway of his room. The news of Kira was everywhere, still, and support and fear alike of the invisible presence swelled as time went on, but daily life continued as always. He took note of whatever Kira did that was reported but was more fixated on knowing what on Earth he had encountered on that bus. The supernatural presence was like alarm bells in his head and a stone in his chest. Eventually, Kira's presence in his life was lost in the haze of studying and research and preparations for university - and the surprise graduation trip his friends decided to drag him into. They had apparently been conspiring with his mother to make him take a break and had more or less kidnapped him from his house one day with a bag of clothing and other necessities his mother had somehow packed without his know how. Wow, he must have been really absorbed with his research.

"It was Takeru and Junko's idea," Rei had explained to him on their flight to France*, glaring at the two grinning now-adults. "Takehiro and I were responsible for the funding and had no problem with paying for everything, but I wasn't going to come. I was pretty much kidnapped in the same way you were. Except I wasn't struck dumb in surprise like you." Harsh. Light was _not_ struck dumb in surprise, thank you very much.

"Oh," was all Light could say too that, several hundred miles too late to be complaining. "Where are we going, exactly?"

"Disneyland Paris."

And that was that.

All things considered, it was a fun getaway with his friends. The flight was worse than he expected, being in the air and a cramped space for several hours - most of them spenty pressing his wings, which itched to be let out, against his seat - took a toll on him. So he was exhausted when he finally stepped off the plane in France. Luckily, Takehiro and Rei were rich and willing to splurge, so the hotel they had was beyond luxurious. Disneyland itself was fun as well, and the Effiel Tower almost made him think this was what his dreams had been hinting towards, because they were seriously starting to seem more like some weird new ability. Prophetic dreams honestly did not sound fun. Nonetheless, Light was smiling as he boarded the flight back to Japan two weeks later.

However, upon setting foot on Japanese soil, he was immediately struck by a sense of dread, nausea and that feeling he had been waking up to not too long ago. His smile crumpled and he froze. Something... Something had happened. And it was Not Good.

* * *

_what do i do_

Panic was a monster that dwelled in the chest and struck at the worst of times. It clung to you like ivy, twice as stubborn as a mule and as threatening as an unknown presence that loitered behind you. That was what was happening right now. That invisible presence was reaching around his neck and strangling him. Not literally of course.

L was involved. The police were involved. The FBI was involved. And his contact _wasn't answering his_ -

 _Have you heard of the phrase_ 杀鸡儆猴*?

He paused and stared at the message before typing out a reply. _I can't say I have._ His blood roared and his heart thumped as he awaited a reply. What on earth did that kanji have to do with anything? Killing chickens and warning monkeys?

 _Stop panicking._ The reply made him glance over his shoulder in blistering paranoia and growing awe. _They_ knew he was panicking. They _knew_.

_It's a Chinese proverb. It means to punish one as a warning to others._

"To punish one as a warning to others...?"

Ah... So is that what he should do?

Strangely, the calming of his heart made his thoughts turn towards that special and oddly charismatic teenager he had seen on that bus. Being in the teen's presence had been akin to standing in a sunbeam in a field of flowers - something calming, something gentle like a summer breeze. Idly, he wondered if they would ever meet again.

* * *

 

It was defamiliarizing.

Keisuke Fujiwara was a cheerful and hardworking man, father to a daughter in junior high and devoted husband to his wife. A family man, certainly, and one somewhat hesitant to work on the Kira case. Nonetheless, he had took to it with vigor just as he had took to every other case. He was a good man, a good colleague. A bit timid for police officer, but a good one nonetheless. He remembered how the man often volunteered to go on coffee runs despite being a relatively senior member of the force. He remembered how the man gave him a muffin once when he forgot to eat. He remembered briefly meeting the man's daughter and wife and seeing them so happy together.

He personally didn't know much about the FBI agent Jackie Anton, but he did know she spoke Japanese fluently and seemed delighted when they told her she so. He didn't know if she had a family or children. L had introduced her only recently, wanting to intergrate the FBI assisting in the Kira case with the N.P.A. group assigned to the Kira case in japan. He didn't even have to time to get to know her.

And now, seeing their blood splattered across the walls of their workplace, the sweet stench of death, Souichirou wasn't sure what to think. But the copper-scented words on the wall was most certainly a warning in what appeared to be purposefully crooked English.

_StoP purSuinG OUr gOd fOOls_

Yet somehow, the one thing that was stuck in his head afterwards was _How could L think my son capable of this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I chose France because my mom and I went there during those few years and were mistaken for Japanese tourists (who were apparently relatively common at the time?). Some people tried to speak Japanese to us and we had to explain that we were Chinese and didn't understand a lick of Japanese. Or so my mum said. I was like 2 or smth, so I don't remember at all.
> 
> *shā jī jǐng hóu - Literally, it means to kill a chicken as a way to threaten monkeys into obeying, or something like that. I'm not sure if the proverb exists in Japanese or not. I assumed it didn't.


End file.
